i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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