I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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