talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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