So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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