everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
