Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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