you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
