No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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