I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
