it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I want to be your penis for a week.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Randomize
