Say something about gay babies.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
