Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Randomize
