East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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