I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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