I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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