YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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