He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
