well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
