Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
