I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
