Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
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