I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
They have beer where we have blood.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
