He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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