The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
