I forgot how hot balto sounded
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
