My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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