i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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