Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
