I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
