I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize