sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
