I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
