...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Randomize
