did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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