I'm so fucking centered right now
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Just invented taco cereal.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
