I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
