He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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