How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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