after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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