Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Four minutes until I can fart!
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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