the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
jump out the window naked night went bad
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