I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
