haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
We are two peas in an std pod
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
