"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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