Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Randomize