wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
