she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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