You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
