mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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