They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
